Dull Challenges

1. Alphabetize a phone book – By hand, from A to Z, page after page, using colour coded tags. A-A, A-B, A-C etc.

2. Count grains of rice in a 10 pound bag – No tools allowed except a magnifying glass and tweezers (optional).

3. Watch paint dry – Paint and area of wall. Literally sit, time and monitor the drying process of multiple coats on various wall textures.

4. Transcribe the Urban Dictionary – Word for word in pencil, include all pronunciation keys and example sentences.

5. Sort a jar of mixed buttons by size and shade – Bonus points for labeling each pile with its Pantone equivalent.

6. Match identically shaped puzzle pieces from 10 large jigsaw puzzles mixed together – Without assembling the puzzles.

7. Track the evaporation rate of a glass of tap water – One measurement per hour, for a week.

8. Write “I love to procrastinate” 10,000 times – On lined paper, using your best handwriting.

9. Listen to an 8 hour loop of the Spotify Top Ten – No distractions allowed, and eyes must remain on a blank wall.

10. Identify and list every item in your most cluttered drawer – Create a spreadsheet with columns for weight, material, origin story, and frequency of use.

AI says

If it doesn't look incorrect then can it be correct? 

"Collection" is the latest album from Impossible Songs, released on September 26, 2023.

This Scottish band, led by John Barclay (guitars and vocals) and Ali Graham (keyboards and vocals), collaborated with Jennifer Clark on bass and Chris Scott on drums for this project. The album was recorded at Jennifer Clark's Studio in Falkirk, Scotland, between October 2022 and July 2023, with Clark also handling engineering and production duties.

The album comprises nine tracks, blending original compositions with a unique arrangement of the traditional piece "Greensleeves." Here's the tracklist:

1. "Witch"
2. "Something of Little Importance"
3. "Greensleeves"
4. "Shell (for Rhona)"
5. "Friends"
6. "Your Black Heart"
7. "Guilty Pleasures"
8. "Curiosity"
9. "Witch's Theme"

"Collection" is available for streaming and purchase on platforms like Bandcamp, Amazon Music, and Spotify.

impossiblesongs.bandcamp.com

amazon.com

Spotify

While there are some external reviews available from various sources, the album's description on Bandcamp notes that this project marks the band's return to writing and recording after a hiatus, reflecting their journey back into music.

For a more comprehensive understanding of the album, listening to it directly would provide the best insight into its musical style and themes.

So Long Marianne

Miracle Fat Blaster

Available at all really good pharmacies, on-line and outside indoor markets. As designed and made by the redoubtable AI Fairy of unknown origin. 

The FAT BLASTER! 

You to can look like a strange blue God from the Marvel Universe, or something similar or perhaps even more ridiculous than that. 

The master plan:

A bold, eye-catching headline: "SHED POUNDS FAST! The Ultimate Fat-Burning Breakthrough!"
A sleek, modern design with fiery and energetic colors like red, orange, and yellow.
A fit, toned figure in silhouette with a glowing effect, emphasizing rapid transformation.
A bottle of the "miracle drug" in the center, radiating such a powerful aura.
Small text highlighting key benefits: "Boost Metabolism | Burn Fat Fast | Clinically Proven"
A subtle disclaimer at the bottom: "Results may vary. Consult a doctor before use."

Don't say "possible risk of poisoning" or anything else.

The Serious Circus

I bought so much evil coffee

that it couldn't be translated

what I saw was a waste of time

and pretty much unregulated

it was with lyrics in mind

it's always with lyrics in mind 

the past is pretty tense

the past is surely tense

so we made a wave

the wave became a splash

the splash performed at a circus

so serious

it was the end of an era

in the arena.

79p

You can spend your 79p here and almost own something or you can just listen or watch for free.

Cosmic Botulism

The last cowboy or the first cowboy?

Free Parking

I'm parking this here, parking is free. The link that goes with it is here. ⮜

Despotic Desktop

In what might seem like a long and visually messy post I present to you all of the image files that are currently parked on my desktop either awaiting use or awaiting some other fate. Probably not deletion or anything like that, they'll somehow survive. Quite a few already have alternate lives elsewhere on the web. Actually I don't tend to allow a crowded desktop to happen ... too stressful.

 

To Whom

Dear Mr Netflix Person,

I've now watched two seasons of Graham Hancock's revisionist views on world history. I'm sure you're aware that he proposes that, in a nutshell, a race of highly (?) superior beings somehow survived an "ancient apocalypse" (the flood of legends) about 14000 years ago and set the other more "primitive" survivors back on the track to civilisation by passing on their wisdom and practical skills. In so doing they laid the foundations for the modern world. Sounds fair enough to me but nobody in the mainstream of education or science is agreeing with this right now. I wonder why?

Hancock spends a lot of time picking at pieces of unchallenged evidence to support his theory and I actually like that he's out to disrupt the established view and it'd be nice to think he might be right (and I suppose he just might be) as it would kill off the various creation myths religions have fed us and also explain many mysteries surrounding the numerous huge and ancient stone buildings, ground works and sophisticated ancient structures that are out there. Academics often need a shake up - history does teach us that too. He's maybe just not the guy to do it IMHO.

Of course the format, his quirky victim attitude, laconic delivery and the tedious editing style used throughout the show undermines everything he says. It's flawed and disjointed as a structural piece of documentary story telling, always jumping across time and places rather than going deeper. I thought the old Discovery Channel documentary format was bad but this is even worse. Fictional animations, all slow paced for maximum cheesy drama, false starts and the repetition of statements abound as does a pounding and unsubtle musical score. I did like many of the computer graphics and views of the ancient sites, they were all quite well rendered and watchable and much of the detail was new to me so I'm not totally negative about everything.

You should note also that when GH is in front of the camera, using those weird shot angles during conversations coupled with the style in which he delivers his dry and progressively more unconvincing narrative, the overall experience is quite infuriating. Having said that I willingly watched it just hoping that a shaft of light might be stumbled upon that would perhaps clear up a little of the darkness from humanities history (for me and every other viewer no doubt). That's the whole point of the show. There is that tantalizing promise of red meat in each episode but the actual payoff never comes. So it was an interesting but flawed and bumpy journey. However many episodes spent wading through the snake oil and enduring GH's unblinking stares into the camera was uncomfortable for me. In the end I guess Netflix earned some revenue from the adverts and viewing stats and pleased the community of radical historians out in the left field. I'm done now and can only really say, so long and thanks for all the lovely fish.

Send me no flowers

Wee John fae Fife  (old enough).

Nearly Home

"Nearly everyone has their box of secret pain."

John Steinbeck.

I wonder how nearly this nearly actually is.

Your heart will go on. 

And we're nearly home.

Clearly home.

In some secret place.

Just to stop there.

And breathe.