Photographs of the Moon

Well one photograph

Havin' a laugh

Via phone and telescope

Is it any good?

Nope.

The Swimming Pool of the Great Red Cabbage

A trite flight of fancy as we try to imagine the songs we have not written, those we have forgotten and those that still float up there, lost in the ether or the other esoteric elements. This link doesn't lead to Spotify either. 

Imperfect Square

Sleepwalking Beauty

Princess Aurora came from a fairly normal if dysfunctional royal lineage. The usual stuff, drugs, incest, black magic, white magic, flights of fantasy and violent behaviour dogged her past. When she was but a baby her mother was cursed by an evil pin prick (so the story goes) and Aurora was never allowed to have full time education and was home schooled by three witches who regularly levitated because they were inspired by the Disney version. Her father, the King was prone to bouts of bad dialogue and would say things like "This will never do!" and "Over my dead body!" for dramatic effect. 

After a while the curse got real because Aurora turned sixteen and went a bit mental. She would sleep walk around the castle as if one of the undead scaring everybody. It was amusing for a while but the staff got bored as she persisted with it past the funny point so most left. Nobody wanted to risk a confrontation. About the same time there was a plague of thorns that just covered up everything. The castle was in a bit of a mess due to the thorns and there was a rumour that a dragon was now squatting in the basement/cellar/dungeon. Sometimes acrid smoke rose up through the floors or hung in the air in stairways and corridors. As revenue from tourists, visitors and pilgrims dried up the King grew even more dramatic and decided to throw a great ball in the hope that a handsome and rich young prince would arrive and after a bit take away the petulant princess as his bride.

Soon the day of the great ball arrived. The thorns were pruned back by religious zealots and the witches laid on a nice spread and a finger buffet. Aurora however was having a bad day and decided to stay up her room, curled up on her bed clutching her phone and scrolling through Instagram posts. As the guests arrived the King decided he'd just drink himself stupid and ignore the plan and as many of the guests as possible. The Queen made a rare appearance and flirted with the princes as queens do. The party actually went well until the dragon awoke from it's slumber and whilst mumbling about gold and thieves knocked down a large part of the castle with it's swishing tail and incinerated a few of the less noble guests. Cough! Thankfully the bar and buffet were intact so the celebration rolled onwards towards midnight.

Aurora awoke, checked herself in the mirror and decided to head downstairs following the blue dragon vapour in the air. So still feeling strangely refreshed from her nap she arrived on the scene just as the sausage rolls arrived and the dragon was about to devour yet another young knight. She let out a loud shriek and the whole place fell silent. "Look, none of this is real" she yelled, "you're all just in my dream, I'm asleep for God's sake, I have been for nearly sixteen years!"

In a purple flash the soporific princess found herself both awake and alive. What's more she wasn't sixteen and she wasn't a princess. She was a thirty something pastry chef called Joan who lived in Blackpool who had come home from work at about 10pm and fallen asleep on the couch, still in her kitchen whites clutching her phone and scrolling through Instagram posts. A burned out cigarette was perched on the edge of the ash tray. "Phew, that was close!"

So you think this was another "only a dream" story? Well as Joan was slowly waking up and trying to sort out her confused thoughts formed from the images and experiences from the dream she heard a familiar sound. She turned around and looked out the window into the street. Everything looked familiar, the red brick houses, trees, cars, gardens, but there was the dragon, swaggering down the street, groaning and belching fire. Behind him there was trail of destruction, smoking ruins and rubble, in front of him was Joan's second floor flat. He seemed focused on it now. Joan opened the window, stuck her head out and waving frantically at the dragon screamed, "Shoo, Shoo!"

The funny thing about dragons is that despite having great strength and highly destructive powers they are easily led by firm words and vibrant body language. It would have been good had this dragon been inclined that way but he wasn't. In a few noisy, brightly coloured and fiery seconds he smashed the house and Joan to pieces and burned up the remains with his breath.

You're probably thinking that this is the end of the story now and you'd be partly correct. The thing is in the split second that Joan was evaporated by the dragon she found herself back in the palace as Aurora. No dragon, no party, no princes, just ruin, thorns and a sense of many years passing since that fateful night. But ...

Aurora was asleep on a bed, locked deeply within herself, tumbledown curtains, timbers and overgrown debris all around but any observer would see that she was breathing, still on the tattered bed, peaceful in the ramshackle surroundings of the forgotten palace. Breathing low. The royal family and their caravan of servants dead or gone, only Aurora left, still and silent in a coma nobody could free her from.

Then, once upon another time a wanderer was wandering by and saw the palace ruins and err... wondered about them. He was by nature a thief and an opportunist but so were most people these days so he was not burdened by the harsh reality of his wonky moral compass. He had to survive for some reason. The sun was low and evening time was slowly cracking across the pale blue into a fine grey. Then, through a crumbing arrow slit, he saw Aurora. 

"Is she dead or dying, drugged or just out of it? This is not good. What if I'm spotted here? I've done nothing and now I'm seeing an unconscious girl or a dead girl and that implicates me in whatever might have taken place here ... wait a minute, she's really breathing, low but breathing. Phew!"

With that the wanderer steps back and pauses for a moment. He's thinking hard now, what to do, where to go, perhaps stay and investigate, call for help, what's best? Eyes are darting, here, there, near, far. There is a lot to take in. What's that glinting in there, in the shadows, far into the ruins? 

Some say that the only treasure worth having is the treasure that a well lived and generous life builds up in a kindly heart. Earthly treasures are fleeting, shiny tat that poisons the mind and corrupts the soul leaving an dry and hollow husk of selfish emptiness. The wanderer was unaware of this thinking and quickly filled his pockets and backpack with the scattered spoils from the palace ruin which was in fact the princesses personal jewelry heritage passed down through the years from various long departed members  of the royal family. As he turned to leave with his booty he playfully pecked her on the cheek and silently mouthed the words "screw you very much".

A few hundred yards away, hidden by a thicket of purple thorns the dragon silently sifted the air and opened a lazy, sleep stained eye. The moment had arrived. The dragon's back was arched, tense, ready to throw flame. And it did. Within a few seconds the flames had consumed the castle ruins, the bed, the princess and the wanderer.

Joan woke up with a start, gasping for air but curiously enough with the faint smell of smoke in her nostrils. "Fuck this for a laugh" she whispered under her first new breath. Back in the room again.

Easy with the snacks please

Take it from me. 

Go easy with the snacks please. 

Follow this good advice. 

You will never regret it.

Don't press the panic button.

 Anytime soon.

Some sort of philosophical meme

I quite like cars and I'm confused by philosophy, however I try to remain open minded about ... things. That doesn't always work for the best but it's a reasonable way to be in my opinion. Anyway I've come to realise over the years that in these matters it's only my opinion that matters. Thank you for your time.

Life on Earth

Alien encounters No.23: The coming of the back garden monolith and a long period of meaningful reflection considering the relative values of carbon based life systems on the Earth.

In the dark

Little black cat

Hit by a car

In the dark

Lying on the road

Quivering

No sound no blood

Still soft and warm

I hold up my hand to stop the bus

Standing in the road

Headlights

Scooping up the cat

Safe from the tarmac and trauma

Now on the pavement

Quivering

Then nothing

The traffic continues by 

Roar of engines and footfall

The little cat is gone

Just as the vet arrives.

Another stolen photo

A very short story: Corn man enters the building wearing his corn Nikes. Details as below. Can you guess their size?

Some religious experience required

Wanted: Help setting twisted souls straight again.

 

(Charity of the Temple of the Low Man*).

Enthusiastic but diplomatic individual required for well established team. No engineering experience necessary but  needs core competences in empathy, astrology, salted caramel toffee making, warmth without sweat and bifocal awareness to Level 5. You will not be alone but may be left that way from time to time. Needs to remain discreet. Great package for the correct person. Age not an issue and partial to full training will be provided. Clothing allowance paid. Experience in exorcism desirable. 

APPLY WITHIN.

*No hippies or lower/upper body piercings.

Welcome

Do you have a taste for the exotic and desire to do better? Here's a short film that's been commissioned by specialists in their field in order to encourage like minded international investors to come forward and by wholly legal means be relieved of their money. No serious risk is involved. Terms and conditions may apply. It depends.

Inspired by Nothing

Pigeons roasting on an hopeless fire

Jackdaws pecking at my toes

Your tight carrots hung up by a choir

And yolks dressed up like piccolos.

Everybody knows a turnkey and a living wage

Help to make the sneezing right

Tiny spots with their high indigo

Will find it hard to seize tonight.

So you know a stanza is on it's way

With lots of cloying poison cookies on a tray

Every mother-fuck preparing to cry 

To see if rainbows really do die.

So I'm strangling this single stage

For kinks from none to nearly two

Although I've been sued many times many ways

Mary Queen of Scots to you.

----------------------------------

"So now I can picture myself, inspired by nothing, in some perfect place. Wearing a headset and listening as I Skype call random members of the public. I listen without responding or baiting as they answer over complicated questions about trivial aspects of their lives. The truth and facts mean nothing, I will record whatever they may say but remain detatched and in a dream like state. In this way I will allow time to pass around and though me as I quietly await the beating wings at the window telling me of the arrival of the message I require, taped onto the leg of a slate blue carrier pigeon."

Modsiw

The night before

"Look, you can believe what you like, I still think that's OK in this country, but I'm telling you that Trump isn't going to win tomorrow. You see I've been fasting and praying now for about a week and last night an angel came to me in a vision and told me very clearly that Biden was going to defeat Trump by a huge landslide, incredible figures, huge numbers, pundits and all those corrupt media types will be dumbfounded and there will be trouble. The only condition for this to take place is that I have to make sure you go out and buy me a triple cheeseburger and a vanilla shake so that I might end my fast in a respectful and dignified manner and the honorable timeline of the USA can be restored. It seals the deal I made with God. Do you understand? You must do this, not just for me but for our great country and the rest of the free world!"

Wild Woods

Into the woods where the lights are wilder than any wildlife.

Fictitious Hippie Wedding

It's all a sham, there were no hippies, nothing new age or old age. Just bright colours that darted around the sky, filled the corners of the garden, poked people in the eye. We were drunk and happy on the thoughts of being drunk and happy, what a world of promise there was and most of it was simply down to never reading a newspaper. Charles Dickens and Daryl's chickens, famous storytellers and food producers. Everyone was safe because there was no sense of danger. The dream has ended now that  a wave of vegetarianism has swept the land and the control of the economy is out of control. The correct people could've intervened and fixed it all we didn't care about such things at the time. I was quite relieved when the practice of divination using human sacrifices came to an end, being a human and what not. 

Mirror

This is what happens in parallel worlds and when looking over shoulders and into those strange places where you maybe shouldn't look but you want to. Mysterious stuff.

Behind the chosen curve

Better late than never I suppose: After 2 weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, I surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were normal just for a brief moment in time.

A short walk across the greens

"Now we may be ready for anything but a round of golf is just too much (at any time of year). When we're low on leek and onion sourdough loaves, avocados or a ski trip it's a simple matter to dip into the trust fund. I don't know how the others manage, frankly I don't care. It's dog eat dog and I'm from a family of rather large dogs, high in the food chain and we do what we must do. Well my parents seem to do a lot of things and it all works out well generally (wags finger). I think the worst thing about this town is the parking, then the tourists and the locals. I've managed to avoid them all so far. It's hardly Outlander country either but they're all so intrigued with golfing history and to be honest it's a working class pastime. I'm bemused and as for the clothing choices... so if I sound like some know all stereotype it's because I choose my wine and words wisely. Not like the Americans, the Japanese and the Chinese. I'll be gone in a couple of terms, I'll flee the rain and the salt air. I'm imprisoned here for twenty weeks a year. You make your own connections don't you (that's not a question). There's always money to be made easily from a base in the West Indies, whatever the actual climate here. And we have a place there. Cassandra and I enjoy it. Yes I'd prefer to be in Antigua (very relaxing) but the correct education is important, so they say. "

Grim

Church of the poisoned mushroom: We entered the woodland passing the corpse of Red Riding Hood. We bowed, touched temples, paid respects. Somebody should have done the right thing but that wouldn't be us. You see we had "other" business. The scent of wolf was everywhere and the creatures of the woodland were sharing testimony and praying for acts of revenge. Of course no god in his right mind would listen to their drivel so it was down to us, the Grimm Brothers to get to the bottom.

She had a reputation but so does everybody, otherwise you must be invisible. Have you never been alive? And wolves, who gives a tinker's cuss if they prosper or die. Barking moon howlers. Turns out there's quite a few unburied bodies around here, nobody likes that. Messy. Makes the flesh creep, things become uncomfortable, you see red. In the end we chose to play down the trashy side of things, the scandal and the appetites. Well, it's a good little tale, a misadventure and better left to the imagination than told straight.

In the end everything dies but remains alive only as a story or a time line. The edges blur quickly between reality and fantasy and as for facts, well they matter even less. Those who saw it with their own eyes tend to be the least reliable, the ones who spin and exaggerate and put their markers down. It's about having skin in the game and we had none, we're just passing through, taking notes, smiling politely at the fat woman, the old man, the nervous children, the crone, the princess and the pedlar as they tell their version fruit,; robbery, murder, warts, sexual violence and all. Common babble but bankable enough.

Interviews and notation, asking the tough questions, getting the wrong answers but not caring. Swearing and saying thank you, avoiding the pay off and the reckoning and don't promise any credit. There's no royalties in it, even if you say you're the King of this dilapidated kingdom and all bow down. We won't care. We've to go back home, spin chairs in the office and work this up into something understandable and entertaining over coffee; your life, your experience, your pain maybe but our added fiction, hard graft and salesmanship make it travel and last.

Under the Sea

"Under the Sea from Above the Sea"

Careful use of contrived capitalization creates the perfect title for the imperfect image. It's not Google Earth, it's not some South Pacific atoll, it's not anywhere but it is somewhere, it's not the closeup of the skin of an blue turtle, it's a question but without an answer. It's all a fake. So is reality. The answer is of course "CONCRETE".

Bull Head

Bull Head by LEGO

Island of Dreams

For the time being: We're done with the English alphabet, 26 letters of predictable associations and meaning (but it's use will continue as I've no other way of expressing myself). It's all in the past now and unlikely to be revisited. We need another language with new symbols to teach us a better way to use all language. So here's a marker, a spiritual home, a tidal boundary, a pastel cartoon, a fixed border but one that moves as sure as the moon pulls. Ever changing, a watery sentry that limits your stay and your day and drowns any passing rats. A period of respectful silence may follow. Hold onto the dream.

Z

The illustrated alphabet Part 26: Z is for Z-CARS.

I grew up watching Z-Cars in black and white on a 405 line TV. It was peak time week night viewing for a few years in the 60s.  I have fond if rather blurry memories of it. To be honest there wasn't much else to watch at the time. Z-Cars was a British television drama series centred on the work of mobile uniformed police in the fictional town of Newtown, based on Kirkby, Lancashire. Produced by the BBC, it debuted in January 1962 and ran until September 1978. At the time it was a unique grimy piece of TV drama dealing with both criminal and domestic plot lines in a working class area of north west England. Over time it lost it's edge and a number of flabby spin off shows followed on based around some of the police characters portrayed in the original series of shows. The show was also a spring board for a number of well know British actor's early careers. Nobody talks about it much these days, like Coronation Street, the Beatles or the 'Stones it belongs in some strange bygone age when Britain wasn't quite as fucked up as it is today, (actually it was but we couldn't really see that very clearly at the time, now it's painfully obvious).

This isn't really how I imagined the illustrated alphabet would end but it's OK, it had to end one way or another after the 26 letters we're stuck with had been used up with their randomly allocated words. It's done now.

THE END

Y

The illustrated alphabet Part 25: Y is for YAHOO.

Yahoo! A shout of triumph, warning or just plain exhilaration. Origins likely to be lost somewhere in the annals of wild west culture in the USA. Works well in a carton format, has some comedy value if applied with the right amount of expression. Another meaning is that it describes a course or oafish person. "He's a proper Yahoo!"  I don't know any now but I may have in the past. (I'm not aware of any famous dogs called "Yahoo" so the photo above really makes no sense, it just arrived there somehow.)

Some also say that Yahoo! is an American web services provider headquartered in Sunnyvale, California, and owned by Verizon Media. The original Yahoo! company was founded by Jerry Yang and David Filo in January 1994 and was incorporated on March 2, 1995. Yahoo was one of the pioneers of early Internet  systems, email and the like in the 1990s but that's such a long time ago that nobody cares about it now.

X

The illustrated alphabet Part 24: X is for X-BOX.

X, pronounced eX. Not X-ray or Xylophone or Planet X but X box. Xbox is a video gaming brand created and owned by Microsoft. It represents a series of video game consoles developed by Microsoft, with three consoles released in the sixth, seventh, and eighth generations, respectively ... and so on. Billions of people own, operate and love these consoles. I'm not a gamer and don't play but you can't argue with the numbers and the popularity. I prefer analogue games mostly so that says something about me.

W

The illustrated alphabet Part 23: W is for WIKIPEDIA.

Wikipedia is a multilingual online encyclopedia created and maintained as an open collaboration project by a community of volunteer editors using a wiki-based editing system. It is the largest and most popular general reference work on the World Wide Web. Where the factual and non-factual core of all pub quizzes, arguments, film and TV spoilers and homework and thesis solutions peacefully abide. They're quite keen to get sustainable funding for obvious reasons, you'd think some tech big boys would try to help out (what could possibly go wrong there?).

So if you want to find out where the W formation of palm trees is, if it still exists and it's cultural significance, then you could try Wikipedia but to do that you'd probably start with Google which would eventually take you to Wikipedia or maybe YouTube. It's not complicated really.

V

The illustrated alphabet Part 22: V is for VENDETTA.

A long an violent struggle between people or families based around settling scores over things that have happened in the past. Characterized by a series of prolonged, vengeful or hostile acts. Italian in origin. Pretty obvious choice of word in the "V for" category but a good and useful word nonetheless.

U

 The illustrated alphabet Part 21: U is for UNUSUAL.

When something is unusual it's pretty much different for whatever you might have expected. Not common, not ordinary, not what people do round here etc. It's also a useful way to make a comment or express a view without sounding judgmental or revealing your true feelings about something i.e. "Your new hairstyle is quite unusual" or "that's an unusual boil you have on the end of your nose" or "It's unusual to find you in such a good mood". I'd recommend that you proceed with care when you find yourself in this area of conversation.

T

The illustrated alphabet Part 20: T is for TREAT.

Something you could enjoy, entertainment, food, drink, ice cream, etc., given by way of compliment or as an expression of friendly regard. Anything that affords particular pleasure or enjoyment. One man's pancake is another man's etc.

Also.

To act or behave toward (a person) in some specified way:to treat someone with respect. Nice.

"Treat people as you'd like to be treated", hardly original, simple to say  but not always so easy to do.

S

The illustrated alphabet Part 19: S is for STAPLE.

A staple is a U-shaped fastener made of metal but bendable and dependable.

a: a metal loop both ends of which are driven into a surface to hold the hook, hasp, or bolt of a lock, secure a rope, or fix a wire in place

b: a small wire both ends of which are driven through layers of thin and easily penetrable material (such as paper) and usually clinched to hold the layers together
c: a usually metal surgical fastener used to hold layers of tissue together (as in the closure of an incision).

Never forget, Winston Churchill had a staple diet and so should you.

R

The new illustrated alphabet Part 18: R is for RAIN.

Rain is liquid water in the form of droplets that have condensed from atmospheric water vapor and then become heavy enough to fall under gravity. Rain is a major component of the water cycle and is responsible for depositing most of the fresh water on the Earth.

"If ever I should change my name

I'd like to change my name to Rain

I don't think that I need explain

 Why I'd choose a renamed name like Rain."  

                                                                             anon.

Q

The new illustrated alphabet Part 17: Q is for QUINOA.

Quinoa is a flowering plant in the amaranth family. It is a herbaceous annual plant grown as a crop primarily for its edible seeds; the seeds are rich in protein, dietary fiber, B vitamins, and dietary minerals in amounts greater than in many grains. 

Quinoa makes a great base for many recipes and can be served as a main dish or side dish. Besides being a flavorful ingredient in many dishes, quinoa also provides many health promoting nutrients. So, what is quinoa? According to the Whole Grains Council, quinoa is a gluten-free, whole-grain carbohydrate, as well as a complete whole protein.  Which means it contains all nine essential amino acids.

The Grains and Legumes Nutrition Council states that quinoa is made up of 15 percent protein – making quinoa a good source of plant-based protein. Other benefits of quinoa include fiber, B vitamins, iron, potassium, calcium, phosphorus and vitamin E. 

Quinoa is OK but it suffers from a kind of negative image due to food snobbery and ignorance. You can buy it at your local Aldi so it can't be bad.

P

The new illustrated alphabet Part 16: 

P is for PREDESTINATION.

Predestination, in Christian theology, is the doctrine that all events have been willed by God, usually with reference to the eventual fate of the individual soul. Explanations of predestination often seek to address the "paradox of free will", whereby God's omniscience seems incompatible with human free will. In this usage, predestination can be regarded as a form of religious determinism; and usually predeterminism, also known as theological determinism. 

Believing this can make religious people "cock sure" of themselves, often becoming arrogant and elitist. They see themselves as chosen people with a right to enforce their own interpretation of God's will as they go because in their own minds they are operating "in the will of God". This can be used to explain and justify any type of action or judgement as well as excuse misdemeanors of all sorts. It's both an intellectual trap and an opportunity for exploitation and control.  A belief in predestination provides potential leverage for cruel and unspeakable acts to take place whilst providing a conscience salving excuse to explain such behaviour.

I often reflect on how many folks who became born again Christians in the 70s and 80s (Mike Pence anyone?) and have kept on with their faith have turned out to be absolute cunts as a result. In fairness it may be that even without their encounter with  faith they'd still have ended up that way.

O

The new illustrated alphabet Part 15: O is for OBJECTION.

Objection is an act of objecting, a reason or argument presented in opposition, a feeling or expression of disapproval, a statement of opposition to an aspect of a judicial or other legal proceeding, a preachy song sung in a jolly way but corrective way by an actress with a style similar to that of Julie Andrews trying to control unruly children. Shouty and loud with an agenda, you have objections? Perhaps you're just a disagreeable kind of person who wants your own way all the time regardless of the consequences. No, that can't be quite right.

N

The new illustrated alphabet Part 14: N is for NORMAL.

Normal means conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern : characterized by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine. The graph represents a normal form of distribution. Antonyms for normal include unusual, abnormal, exceptional, bizarre, curious, extraordinary, idiosyncratic, odd, out-of-the-way and strange. It's clearly not normal to include opposites in an alphabet illustration piece hence the inclusions of opposites to illustrate what might not be considered normal in an otherwise normal piece.

M

The new illustrated alphabet Part 13: M is for MURDER.

Murder is the unlawful killing of another human without justification or valid excuse, especially the unlawful killing of another human with malice aforethought. This state of mind may, depending upon the jurisdiction, distinguish murder from other forms of unlawful homicide, such as manslaughter. Manslaughter is killing committed in the absence of malice, brought about by reasonable provocation, or diminished capacity. 

Murder is commonplace in under developed countries such as the USA where any person, crazy or not can purchase an automatic weapon, wreak havoc with it and it may be considered as normal or reasonable behavior. In certain states if the victim is black or Hispanic and the murderer is a police officer then the current political regime will turn a blind eye. Nice work America. There are numerous other countries that are equally misguided in their judgement on these matters i.e. Russia, China, North Korea etc.

Most reasonable Gods seem to disapprove of murder unless it's part of some military campaign  or carried out "in their name", it's all a bit of a mess really.

L

The new illustrated alphabet Part 12: L is for LOGIN.

We've been reduced to this, our humanity and identity are summed up now in a few symbols, numerals or letters, without which access to anything in the modern world is almost impossible. Login details should never be written down but remembered somewhere in any spare part of the pink and fleshy memory you can still summon up and use. It's all so fragile when you start to think about it - however here's the official version: In computer security, logging in is the process by which an individual gains access to a computer system by identifying and authenticating themselves. The user credentials are typically some form of "username" and a matching "password", and these credentials themselves are sometimes referred to as a login. No wonder we're all on the edge of paranoia most of the time.

K

The new illustrated alphabet Part 11: K is for KARMA.

Karma is a term used loosely to describe cosmic payback and consequences. It's a nice fantasy that prevails in the thinking of boomers and beyond in the west and of course has been respected and understood as part of eastern life and religion for a lot longer. They invented it, we misappropriated it (as usual).

Karma means action, work or deed; it also refers to the spiritual principle of cause and effect where intent and actions of an individual influence the future of that individual. Good intent and good deeds contribute to good karma and happier rebirths, while bad intent and bad deeds contribute to bad karma and bad rebirths. It may or may not be a real thing but it can at least be used to moderate or explain behaviour and just might make you feel smug or righteous even when you don't deserve to.

J

    The new illustrated alphabet Part 10: J is for JOY.

Joy is the feeling of happiness and delight you experience when you discover a new kind of cake*. Life's simple pleasures are generally the best and the joy of newly found items entering into the cavalcade of your existence is one of the best. There are many other ways to illustrate the meaning and general use of the word "joy" but I'll stick with the simple cake model for the time being. 

*Aberdeen Bible cake.

I

The new illustrated alphabet Part 9: I is for Inspire.

Inspiration, inspire, or inspired may (we're not always sure of our facts despite any claims we might make) refer to: • Artistic inspiration, sudden creativity in artistic production • Biblical inspiration, the doctrine in Judeo-Christian theology concerned with the divine origin of the Bible etc. • Creative inspiration, sudden creativity: for example when a new invention is created out of the blue or the ether or some unlikely place • Inhalation, the movement of air into the lungs, breathing in. 

That sort of thing - truth is that most the time we all feel pretty much uninspired, it's tough isn't it?

H

The new illustrated alphabet Part 8: H is for HOPE.

Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one's life or the world at large. To want something, somehow to be true. Hope is a bit on an abstract investment in an unclear future. The light at the end of the tunnel.

As a verb, its definitions include: "expect with confidence" and "to cherish a desire with anticipation." Seems reasonable to me.

It gets mentioned a lot in the Koran, Jewish and Christian Bibles, and other fictional accounts of the spiritual aspects of human history, not helpful but illustrative of how religion peddles "pie in the sky" as a reasonable explanation for the vague and unclear movements of a detached god who isn't actually there in any obvious form.

G

                         The new illustrated alphabet Part 7: G is for GOD.

In monotheistic thought, God is conceived of as the supreme being, creator deity, and principal object of faith. God is usually conceived as being omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent and omnibenevolent as well as having an eternal and necessary existence, she/he's also considered by many to either not exist at all or be a bit of a raving cunt. People put god (and gods) into all sorts of things, candles, statues, books, paintings and also indulge in worship, blaming, cursing, sacrificing, praying and feeling obliged to obey godly utterances, rules and "scriptures".  God and gods in general are best avoided so try to live quietly somewhere far away* from the white noise, battles, hatred and warfare done in "god's" holy name etc.

F

                 The new illustrated alphabet Part 6: F is for FOG.

Fog is a visible aerosol consisting of tiny water droplets or ice crystals suspended in the air at or near the Earth's surface. Fog can be considered a type of low-lying cloud usually resembling stratus, and is heavily influenced by nearby bodies of water, topography, and wind conditions. In turn, fog has affected many human activities, such as shipping, travel, and warfare. Fog also affects the brain, particularly once you reach a certain age. That actual age remains a closely guarded secret and I'm not prepared to say anymore about it.

E

  

 The new illustrated alphabet Part 5: E is for  EXISTENTIALISM.

Existentialism is a form of philosophical enquiry that explores the nature of existence by emphasizing experience of the human subject—not merely the thinking subject, but the acting, feeling, living human individual.

Among other ideas existentialism explores the notion that the absurd contains the idea that there is no meaning in the world beyond what meaning we give it. This meaninglessness also encompasses the amorality or "unfairness" of the world. This can be highlighted in the way it opposes the traditional Abrahamic religious perspective, which establishes that life's purpose is the fulfillment of God's commandments. This is what gives meaning to people's lives. To live the life of the absurd means rejecting a life that finds or pursues specific meaning for man's existence since there is nothing to be discovered. According to Albert Camus, the world or the human being is not in itself absurd. The concept only emerges through the juxtaposition of the two; life becomes absurd due to the incompatibility between human beings and the world they inhabit.

This view constitutes one of the two interpretations of the absurd in existentialist literature. The second view, first elaborated by Søren Kierkegaard, holds that absurdity is limited to actions and choices of human beings. These are considered absurd since they issue from human freedom, undermining their foundation outside of themselves. Things can get a bit fucked up for you if you venture too far into this subject.

D

                        The new illustrated alphabet Part 4: D is for DRUMBEAT.

A drum beat or drum pattern is a rhythmic pattern, or repeated rhythm establishing the meter and groove through the pulse and subdivision, played on drum kits and other percussion instruments. In the video Mitch Mitchell of the Jimi Hendrix Experience illustrates "drumbeats"  practically with some fine playing, live in concert.

C

                                    The new illustrated alphabet Part 3 : C is for CITY.

1. A large or important town.

(in the U.S.) An incorporated municipality, usually governed by a mayor and a board of aldermen or councilmen.

2. The inhabitants of a city collectively:

The entire city is mourning his death. A million people maybe, or less or more.
Cities are always interesting places to visit but you wouldn't want to live in one (or would you?).