Grim

Church of the poisoned mushroom: We entered the woodland passing the corpse of Red Riding Hood. We bowed, touched temples, paid respects. Somebody should have done the right thing but that wouldn't be us. You see we had "other" business. The scent of wolf was everywhere and the creatures of the woodland were sharing testimony and praying for acts of revenge. Of course no god in his right mind would listen to their drivel so it was down to us, the Grimm Brothers to get to the bottom.

She had a reputation but so does everybody, otherwise you must be invisible. Have you never been alive? And wolves, who gives a tinker's cuss if they prosper or die. Barking moon howlers. Turns out there's quite a few unburied bodies around here, nobody likes that. Messy. Makes the flesh creep, things become uncomfortable, you see red. In the end we chose to play down the trashy side of things, the scandal and the appetites. Well, it's a good little tale, a misadventure and better left to the imagination than told straight.

In the end everything dies but remains alive only as a story or a time line. The edges blur quickly between reality and fantasy and as for facts, well they matter even less. Those who saw it with their own eyes tend to be the least reliable, the ones who spin and exaggerate and put their markers down. It's about having skin in the game and we had none, we're just passing through, taking notes, smiling politely at the fat woman, the old man, the nervous children, the crone, the princess and the pedlar as they tell their version fruit,; robbery, murder, warts, sexual violence and all. Common babble but bankable enough.

Interviews and notation, asking the tough questions, getting the wrong answers but not caring. Swearing and saying thank you, avoiding the pay off and the reckoning and don't promise any credit. There's no royalties in it, even if you say you're the King of this dilapidated kingdom and all bow down. We won't care. We've to go back home, spin chairs in the office and work this up into something understandable and entertaining over coffee; your life, your experience, your pain maybe but our added fiction, hard graft and salesmanship make it travel and last.

Under the Sea

"Under the Sea from Above the Sea"

Careful use of contrived capitalization creates the perfect title for the imperfect image. It's not Google Earth, it's not some South Pacific atoll, it's not anywhere but it is somewhere, it's not the closeup of the skin of an blue turtle, it's a question but without an answer. It's all a fake. So is reality. The answer is of course "CONCRETE".

Bull Head

Bull Head by LEGO

Island of Dreams

For the time being: We're done with the English alphabet, 26 letters of predictable associations and meaning (but it's use will continue as I've no other way of expressing myself). It's all in the past now and unlikely to be revisited. We need another language with new symbols to teach us a better way to use all language. So here's a marker, a spiritual home, a tidal boundary, a pastel cartoon, a fixed border but one that moves as sure as the moon pulls. Ever changing, a watery sentry that limits your stay and your day and drowns any passing rats. A period of respectful silence may follow. Hold onto the dream.

Z

The illustrated alphabet Part 26: Z is for Z-CARS.

I grew up watching Z-Cars in black and white on a 405 line TV. It was peak time week night viewing for a few years in the 60s.  I have fond if rather blurry memories of it. To be honest there wasn't much else to watch at the time. Z-Cars was a British television drama series centred on the work of mobile uniformed police in the fictional town of Newtown, based on Kirkby, Lancashire. Produced by the BBC, it debuted in January 1962 and ran until September 1978. At the time it was a unique grimy piece of TV drama dealing with both criminal and domestic plot lines in a working class area of north west England. Over time it lost it's edge and a number of flabby spin off shows followed on based around some of the police characters portrayed in the original series of shows. The show was also a spring board for a number of well know British actor's early careers. Nobody talks about it much these days, like Coronation Street, the Beatles or the 'Stones it belongs in some strange bygone age when Britain wasn't quite as fucked up as it is today, (actually it was but we couldn't really see that very clearly at the time, now it's painfully obvious).

This isn't really how I imagined the illustrated alphabet would end but it's OK, it had to end one way or another after the 26 letters we're stuck with had been used up with their randomly allocated words. It's done now.

THE END

Y

The illustrated alphabet Part 25: Y is for YAHOO.

Yahoo! A shout of triumph, warning or just plain exhilaration. Origins likely to be lost somewhere in the annals of wild west culture in the USA. Works well in a carton format, has some comedy value if applied with the right amount of expression. Another meaning is that it describes a course or oafish person. "He's a proper Yahoo!"  I don't know any now but I may have in the past. (I'm not aware of any famous dogs called "Yahoo" so the photo above really makes no sense, it just arrived there somehow.)

Some also say that Yahoo! is an American web services provider headquartered in Sunnyvale, California, and owned by Verizon Media. The original Yahoo! company was founded by Jerry Yang and David Filo in January 1994 and was incorporated on March 2, 1995. Yahoo was one of the pioneers of early Internet  systems, email and the like in the 1990s but that's such a long time ago that nobody cares about it now.

X

The illustrated alphabet Part 24: X is for X-BOX.

X, pronounced eX. Not X-ray or Xylophone or Planet X but X box. Xbox is a video gaming brand created and owned by Microsoft. It represents a series of video game consoles developed by Microsoft, with three consoles released in the sixth, seventh, and eighth generations, respectively ... and so on. Billions of people own, operate and love these consoles. I'm not a gamer and don't play but you can't argue with the numbers and the popularity. I prefer analogue games mostly so that says something about me.

W

The illustrated alphabet Part 23: W is for WIKIPEDIA.

Wikipedia is a multilingual online encyclopedia created and maintained as an open collaboration project by a community of volunteer editors using a wiki-based editing system. It is the largest and most popular general reference work on the World Wide Web. Where the factual and non-factual core of all pub quizzes, arguments, film and TV spoilers and homework and thesis solutions peacefully abide. They're quite keen to get sustainable funding for obvious reasons, you'd think some tech big boys would try to help out (what could possibly go wrong there?).

So if you want to find out where the W formation of palm trees is, if it still exists and it's cultural significance, then you could try Wikipedia but to do that you'd probably start with Google which would eventually take you to Wikipedia or maybe YouTube. It's not complicated really.

V

The illustrated alphabet Part 22: V is for VENDETTA.

A long an violent struggle between people or families based around settling scores over things that have happened in the past. Characterized by a series of prolonged, vengeful or hostile acts. Italian in origin. Pretty obvious choice of word in the "V for" category but a good and useful word nonetheless.

U

 The illustrated alphabet Part 21: U is for UNUSUAL.

When something is unusual it's pretty much different for whatever you might have expected. Not common, not ordinary, not what people do round here etc. It's also a useful way to make a comment or express a view without sounding judgmental or revealing your true feelings about something i.e. "Your new hairstyle is quite unusual" or "that's an unusual boil you have on the end of your nose" or "It's unusual to find you in such a good mood". I'd recommend that you proceed with care when you find yourself in this area of conversation.

T

The illustrated alphabet Part 20: T is for TREAT.

Something you could enjoy, entertainment, food, drink, ice cream, etc., given by way of compliment or as an expression of friendly regard. Anything that affords particular pleasure or enjoyment. One man's pancake is another man's etc.

Also.

To act or behave toward (a person) in some specified way:to treat someone with respect. Nice.

"Treat people as you'd like to be treated", hardly original, simple to say  but not always so easy to do.

S

The illustrated alphabet Part 19: S is for STAPLE.

A staple is a U-shaped fastener made of metal but bendable and dependable.

a: a metal loop both ends of which are driven into a surface to hold the hook, hasp, or bolt of a lock, secure a rope, or fix a wire in place

b: a small wire both ends of which are driven through layers of thin and easily penetrable material (such as paper) and usually clinched to hold the layers together
c: a usually metal surgical fastener used to hold layers of tissue together (as in the closure of an incision).

Never forget, Winston Churchill had a staple diet and so should you.

R

The new illustrated alphabet Part 18: R is for RAIN.

Rain is liquid water in the form of droplets that have condensed from atmospheric water vapor and then become heavy enough to fall under gravity. Rain is a major component of the water cycle and is responsible for depositing most of the fresh water on the Earth.

"If ever I should change my name

I'd like to change my name to Rain

I don't think that I need explain

 Why I'd choose a renamed name like Rain."  

                                                                             anon.

Q

The new illustrated alphabet Part 17: Q is for QUINOA.

Quinoa is a flowering plant in the amaranth family. It is a herbaceous annual plant grown as a crop primarily for its edible seeds; the seeds are rich in protein, dietary fiber, B vitamins, and dietary minerals in amounts greater than in many grains. 

Quinoa makes a great base for many recipes and can be served as a main dish or side dish. Besides being a flavorful ingredient in many dishes, quinoa also provides many health promoting nutrients. So, what is quinoa? According to the Whole Grains Council, quinoa is a gluten-free, whole-grain carbohydrate, as well as a complete whole protein.  Which means it contains all nine essential amino acids.

The Grains and Legumes Nutrition Council states that quinoa is made up of 15 percent protein – making quinoa a good source of plant-based protein. Other benefits of quinoa include fiber, B vitamins, iron, potassium, calcium, phosphorus and vitamin E. 

Quinoa is OK but it suffers from a kind of negative image due to food snobbery and ignorance. You can buy it at your local Aldi so it can't be bad.

P

The new illustrated alphabet Part 16: 

P is for PREDESTINATION.

Predestination, in Christian theology, is the doctrine that all events have been willed by God, usually with reference to the eventual fate of the individual soul. Explanations of predestination often seek to address the "paradox of free will", whereby God's omniscience seems incompatible with human free will. In this usage, predestination can be regarded as a form of religious determinism; and usually predeterminism, also known as theological determinism. 

Believing this can make religious people "cock sure" of themselves, often becoming arrogant and elitist. They see themselves as chosen people with a right to enforce their own interpretation of God's will as they go because in their own minds they are operating "in the will of God". This can be used to explain and justify any type of action or judgement as well as excuse misdemeanors of all sorts. It's both an intellectual trap and an opportunity for exploitation and control.  A belief in predestination provides potential leverage for cruel and unspeakable acts to take place whilst providing a conscience salving excuse to explain such behaviour.

I often reflect on how many folks who became born again Christians in the 70s and 80s (Mike Pence anyone?) and have kept on with their faith have turned out to be absolute cunts as a result. In fairness it may be that even without their encounter with  faith they'd still have ended up that way.

O

The new illustrated alphabet Part 15: O is for OBJECTION.

Objection is an act of objecting, a reason or argument presented in opposition, a feeling or expression of disapproval, a statement of opposition to an aspect of a judicial or other legal proceeding, a preachy song sung in a jolly way but corrective way by an actress with a style similar to that of Julie Andrews trying to control unruly children. Shouty and loud with an agenda, you have objections? Perhaps you're just a disagreeable kind of person who wants your own way all the time regardless of the consequences. No, that can't be quite right.

N

The new illustrated alphabet Part 14: N is for NORMAL.

Normal means conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern : characterized by that which is considered usual, typical, or routine. The graph represents a normal form of distribution. Antonyms for normal include unusual, abnormal, exceptional, bizarre, curious, extraordinary, idiosyncratic, odd, out-of-the-way and strange. It's clearly not normal to include opposites in an alphabet illustration piece hence the inclusions of opposites to illustrate what might not be considered normal in an otherwise normal piece.

M

The new illustrated alphabet Part 13: M is for MURDER.

Murder is the unlawful killing of another human without justification or valid excuse, especially the unlawful killing of another human with malice aforethought. This state of mind may, depending upon the jurisdiction, distinguish murder from other forms of unlawful homicide, such as manslaughter. Manslaughter is killing committed in the absence of malice, brought about by reasonable provocation, or diminished capacity. 

Murder is commonplace in under developed countries such as the USA where any person, crazy or not can purchase an automatic weapon, wreak havoc with it and it may be considered as normal or reasonable behavior. In certain states if the victim is black or Hispanic and the murderer is a police officer then the current political regime will turn a blind eye. Nice work America. There are numerous other countries that are equally misguided in their judgement on these matters i.e. Russia, China, North Korea etc.

Most reasonable Gods seem to disapprove of murder unless it's part of some military campaign  or carried out "in their name", it's all a bit of a mess really.

L

The new illustrated alphabet Part 12: L is for LOGIN.

We've been reduced to this, our humanity and identity are summed up now in a few symbols, numerals or letters, without which access to anything in the modern world is almost impossible. Login details should never be written down but remembered somewhere in any spare part of the pink and fleshy memory you can still summon up and use. It's all so fragile when you start to think about it - however here's the official version: In computer security, logging in is the process by which an individual gains access to a computer system by identifying and authenticating themselves. The user credentials are typically some form of "username" and a matching "password", and these credentials themselves are sometimes referred to as a login. No wonder we're all on the edge of paranoia most of the time.

K

The new illustrated alphabet Part 11: K is for KARMA.

Karma is a term used loosely to describe cosmic payback and consequences. It's a nice fantasy that prevails in the thinking of boomers and beyond in the west and of course has been respected and understood as part of eastern life and religion for a lot longer. They invented it, we misappropriated it (as usual).

Karma means action, work or deed; it also refers to the spiritual principle of cause and effect where intent and actions of an individual influence the future of that individual. Good intent and good deeds contribute to good karma and happier rebirths, while bad intent and bad deeds contribute to bad karma and bad rebirths. It may or may not be a real thing but it can at least be used to moderate or explain behaviour and just might make you feel smug or righteous even when you don't deserve to.

J

    The new illustrated alphabet Part 10: J is for JOY.

Joy is the feeling of happiness and delight you experience when you discover a new kind of cake*. Life's simple pleasures are generally the best and the joy of newly found items entering into the cavalcade of your existence is one of the best. There are many other ways to illustrate the meaning and general use of the word "joy" but I'll stick with the simple cake model for the time being. 

*Aberdeen Bible cake.

I

The new illustrated alphabet Part 9: I is for Inspire.

Inspiration, inspire, or inspired may (we're not always sure of our facts despite any claims we might make) refer to: • Artistic inspiration, sudden creativity in artistic production • Biblical inspiration, the doctrine in Judeo-Christian theology concerned with the divine origin of the Bible etc. • Creative inspiration, sudden creativity: for example when a new invention is created out of the blue or the ether or some unlikely place • Inhalation, the movement of air into the lungs, breathing in. 

That sort of thing - truth is that most the time we all feel pretty much uninspired, it's tough isn't it?

H

The new illustrated alphabet Part 8: H is for HOPE.

Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one's life or the world at large. To want something, somehow to be true. Hope is a bit on an abstract investment in an unclear future. The light at the end of the tunnel.

As a verb, its definitions include: "expect with confidence" and "to cherish a desire with anticipation." Seems reasonable to me.

It gets mentioned a lot in the Koran, Jewish and Christian Bibles, and other fictional accounts of the spiritual aspects of human history, not helpful but illustrative of how religion peddles "pie in the sky" as a reasonable explanation for the vague and unclear movements of a detached god who isn't actually there in any obvious form.

G

                         The new illustrated alphabet Part 7: G is for GOD.

In monotheistic thought, God is conceived of as the supreme being, creator deity, and principal object of faith. God is usually conceived as being omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent and omnibenevolent as well as having an eternal and necessary existence, she/he's also considered by many to either not exist at all or be a bit of a raving cunt. People put god (and gods) into all sorts of things, candles, statues, books, paintings and also indulge in worship, blaming, cursing, sacrificing, praying and feeling obliged to obey godly utterances, rules and "scriptures".  God and gods in general are best avoided so try to live quietly somewhere far away* from the white noise, battles, hatred and warfare done in "god's" holy name etc.

F

                 The new illustrated alphabet Part 6: F is for FOG.

Fog is a visible aerosol consisting of tiny water droplets or ice crystals suspended in the air at or near the Earth's surface. Fog can be considered a type of low-lying cloud usually resembling stratus, and is heavily influenced by nearby bodies of water, topography, and wind conditions. In turn, fog has affected many human activities, such as shipping, travel, and warfare. Fog also affects the brain, particularly once you reach a certain age. That actual age remains a closely guarded secret and I'm not prepared to say anymore about it.

E

  

 The new illustrated alphabet Part 5: E is for  EXISTENTIALISM.

Existentialism is a form of philosophical enquiry that explores the nature of existence by emphasizing experience of the human subject—not merely the thinking subject, but the acting, feeling, living human individual.

Among other ideas existentialism explores the notion that the absurd contains the idea that there is no meaning in the world beyond what meaning we give it. This meaninglessness also encompasses the amorality or "unfairness" of the world. This can be highlighted in the way it opposes the traditional Abrahamic religious perspective, which establishes that life's purpose is the fulfillment of God's commandments. This is what gives meaning to people's lives. To live the life of the absurd means rejecting a life that finds or pursues specific meaning for man's existence since there is nothing to be discovered. According to Albert Camus, the world or the human being is not in itself absurd. The concept only emerges through the juxtaposition of the two; life becomes absurd due to the incompatibility between human beings and the world they inhabit.

This view constitutes one of the two interpretations of the absurd in existentialist literature. The second view, first elaborated by Søren Kierkegaard, holds that absurdity is limited to actions and choices of human beings. These are considered absurd since they issue from human freedom, undermining their foundation outside of themselves. Things can get a bit fucked up for you if you venture too far into this subject.

D

                        The new illustrated alphabet Part 4: D is for DRUMBEAT.

A drum beat or drum pattern is a rhythmic pattern, or repeated rhythm establishing the meter and groove through the pulse and subdivision, played on drum kits and other percussion instruments. In the video Mitch Mitchell of the Jimi Hendrix Experience illustrates "drumbeats"  practically with some fine playing, live in concert.

C

                                    The new illustrated alphabet Part 3 : C is for CITY.

1. A large or important town.

(in the U.S.) An incorporated municipality, usually governed by a mayor and a board of aldermen or councilmen.

2. The inhabitants of a city collectively:

The entire city is mourning his death. A million people maybe, or less or more.
Cities are always interesting places to visit but you wouldn't want to live in one (or would you?).

B

The new illustrated alphabet Part 2 : B is for BOY.

A boy is a male child, from birth up until adulthood. 

Homo Sapien. 

Humans are highly intelligent primates that have become dominant on Earth.

A

The new illustrated alphabet Part 1: A is for AMBIVALENCE.

Ambivalence is a state of having simultaneous conflicting reactions, beliefs, or feelings towards some object. Stated another way, ambivalence is the experience of having an attitude towards someone or something that contains both positively and negatively valenced components.

Trump Parade

I read the news today, oh boy ...

And I just had to laugh.

Bricked up

Walled up and sealed, looking into the bricked up window. Cemented through daylight and dusk. The ventilator is faulty. Smoke and fumes used to pass this way. Nothing to see now. Ceremony and conversation but the damp would always triumph as we tried to breathe the stale air. It was a social club, a venue, some usable space. There were a few good nights we all recalled. Busy on gala week too. 

The repairs were done, quick and dirty. Like the pies on a Friday evening. Warm beer, cigarettes and crisps. We played bingo some nights, the wives liked that. There was a serious side but I never really looked into it. Charity. We just grew old really, we died off, one by one. Nobody replaced us, it was sad really.

We were too dead even to go to the cemetery, it was full anyway. Full of the dead and no others we recognized. We were later, we came as a new generation, on the boats, in the distillery, down there with the Navy or up on the bridges and the railway. The old dignitaries are fossils now. Plenty of local work then, two good wars. We lived as friends and died too. That's the way it goes.

Mutant Algorithm

MUTANT ALGORITHM 

If only you all truly knew

What a simple mutant algorithm can do

You'd be very frightened too.

Weird Scenes at the Plantation

Is it all so long ago? Maybe they came from space, maybe from another time or dimension, maybe they were already here, always, and then just burst up through the earth when the time was right. The year was 1955. The memories were all mine but they might as well have been neanderthal for all the difference it could make. You could smell it in the air and I knew when the old man said that there was something very wrong with our lands that he was right. Now we suffer the consequences. The brown earth rises under what strange energy to pass on the message. Now we have historical perspective but little understanding. Under our feet, awake when asleep, never dead, never alive, simply eternal and it's not coming home because it never really left.

Scrap Collage

Industrial skies

Iron and rust

Industry cast offs

Reflected in the price

Of scrap metal.

Icy Blue Nowhere

Somewhere, beyond icy blue

A stream of thought awaits you

And all you have to do

Is clearly think it through

And all you'll have to show

Are the simple things you know.

Potato Sack

Don't worry about test and trace

Don't worry how to mask your face

Don't worry that the government tells tall tales

Don't worry our success is a list of fails

We're OK, we'll get back

We're beautiful

Here's Marilyn in a potato sack

See Marilyn in a potato sack

Don't stress at the daily brief

Don't fret don't suck your teeth

Don't cry when you get bad news

Don't listen if you get the blues

We're OK we're not slack
Rockin' the Corona snacks

Here's Marilyn in a potato sack

See Marilyn in a potato sack

Don't worry if we contradict

Don't worry if the facts don't fit

Don't worry you can't get a test

We'll beat the world and we'll be the best

We're OK soon in the black

We're makin' it

Here's Marilyn in a potato sack

Just like Marilyn in a potato sack

Marilyn in a chlorinated chicken shack

Marilyn's life is a life is a hack

Marilyn in the conga line at the back

Marilyn Monroe in a potato sack.

Birds

Birds building bird houses - for your soul of course.

Never really know

The driver promised her a car

Another backstreet cruise

Relax just like a movie star

There's nothing left to lose

Maybe there's a gun in her handbag

Or a tiny pack of coke

Cloned and poisoned credit cards

Stolen from some bloke

A mobile phone a side door key

Appointment card for surgery

A photograph of you and me

We'll never really know.

Still Short

Still from a film with a long commentary.

"I cleaned out the dishwasher filter, removed the gunge, fed the cats, 

(you know the chicken they are eating needs to be used up as it's past it's use by date).

MPs are not the same as experts. 

The shower should be unblocked.

Following a slow police van.

The laundry pretty much does itself itself. 

Black out Tuesday.

I've lost a sock.

Recycling by booking only.

I've three clean jiffy bags but nothing to put into them yet.

Black Lives Matter.

Sports laces on Amazon and an Arsenal birthday card.

Various types of fish.

Donald Trump doesn't know how to hold a bible.

I routinely check the temperature of the fridge, mostly it's making it.

There's a 61% chance of rain but only after 1700 this evening."

Some say some things happen.
Other's say that those things didn't happen.
Some know what is true.
Other's say that all depends.

Things of no consequence

And there they are, random and untitled, unlisted and unknown and without context, apart from being here.