FTMT's Favourite Five Top Tenets

Sunday, September 04, 2005



I stole this riff
I stole another man’s wife
I stole the keys to your car
And I drove it back Fife.

I punched a waiter who annoyed me
I spat my gum down on the street
I smoked a cigar and I burned your dress
Then told you “you are really sweet”.

I blew my horn aloud at midnight
I spilled my drink into your lap
I said you had faithful boyfriend
But I know he won’t be coming back.

I stole a lyric from Bob Dylan
But I’m not the only one who did
I stole a melody from Johan Strauss
And sold the CD for ten quid.

I checked a pornographic website
When I was logged in your account
I stole your pin number and credit card
And spent the most obscene amount.

I told your father I’d support you
I told your mother you’d be fine
I told your sister she was beautiful
And touched her leg from time to time.

They caught me when I’d had one too many
They caught when I wasn’t at my best
I had to phone so I could tell you
I’m just the same as all the rest.

I’m just the same as any sinner
We’re on that level playing field
I do just what I can get away with
I have to get the things I need.

There is no benchmark for behaviour
There is no good or bad
You do the things you have to do
Stop yourself going mad.

No comments: